One guy, a junior, said that while in the car. Our friend, a senior, immediately agreed and they laughed hysterically. I was a freshman and I was momentarily mortified. We were about two minutes from a party that would have more than a couple ladies present. I knew they were right – I did think too hard when talking to girls. I laughed with my friends and decided to make it my goal to not overthink my coed conversations that evening.
I think I succeeded that night. But I definitely decided to work at it. When your dad is a pastor at a big church, you get used to people knowing you. Today, I am very good at having a conversation with a person I don’t know: someone who knows anecdotal stories about me heard in church, maybe who has seen me grow up to some extent, and someone who knows my name and I should know theirs. I am good in this situation, but my mom is great and my sister is absolutely fantastic. I assume they are naturals. I developed strategies.
I would anticipate conversations or questions that might come my way (usually based on some joke dad told from the pulpit). I would make no attempt to discuss anyone we might know in common (for fear of a missed degree of separation). I wouldn’t introduce people I was with (for fear of getting a name wrong), and I tried to have a stable of jokes or responses for common issues or questions.
“Well, I do a lot of modeling.”
Why on earth did it take me so long to come up with that one? I've seen Zoolander like 20 times!! I was subbing in a geometry class and a student was convinced she’d seen me somewhere before. This is something that comes up often (not necessarily with me, but in general). I tried to give a couple places I could be known from (church, previously teaching at South Eugene, etc.). When this student wouldn’t give it up, I finally said “Well, I do a lot of modeling.” It was perfect. I am using it from now on. You can feel free to use it too. And even better: when I told the class I do a lot of modeling, another girl laughed very hard, but in a snorty there’s-no-way-you’re-a-model-you-nerd sort of way. No one else really laughed except for her. I stood in front of her and asked her why it was so funny. “That’s not a nice thing to do to someone. What if you told me you were entering a beauty pageant and I laughed? How would that make you feel?” I went on for a bit longer, but then let it rest.
Point of this story: I still think too hard about talking to people, I just don’t do it when people can see me anymore.
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