Gilchrist Christmas Card

     Cara and I have taken a Christmas picture or written a Christmas card every year for the last six (we've been married four). They are always super popular with everyone! We say clever things and take great photos and everything. One year we borrowed a friend's baby (we weren't even dating).
     This year was no exception. Our Christmas Card picture was phenomenal! It is going to be staying on everyone's fridge for years.

     ... Except we didn't mail them. Not a single one. We gave a few to some family members and we made a string of them through our house, but that's it. So! Since winter here in Eugene is rapidly fading into post-winter (which is followed by half-winter-half-spring, then fake spring, and then three glorious weeks of summer before early-fall), I thought I would give you all the gift of us via the internets.

     I had to take a picture of the picture to get it onto the internets. It's the only way.

...This one has an artsy sun rising in the middle of it. 

     I can make it a bit more clear what these picture are of with some artsy closeups.

Here's two-month-old Wyatt in a cute little hoodie. It's in black and white.

There was a... uh... solar flare 

     And here it is again when the sun has risen a bit further.

     If you want one of these photos for your fridge (and they are even more charming in real life), then you have a few easy options! And one complicated option!

     Option 1) Let me know! If you give me your name and address, and a stamp and a self-addressed envelope, I will gladly send you a picture! Make sure the envelope you give me will fit the standard, Costco-printed Christmas Card form.

     Option 2) Right click one of these pictures, and "Save As" to your desktop. Then, all you have to do is print the picture, or load it up to your favorite store's printing website, print it up and go pick it up. Easy and convenient.

     Option 3) Come on over to my house and grab one! I am not going to post my address online, so you can email/call/write me a letter if you want.

      Option 4) Head down to the corner of 5th and Broadway. There's a guy. Tell the guy that you want the package. Make sure you say it just like that. You don't want "a package" or "the thing." The guy (his name is Lenny but don't tell him you know his name) will invite you in through the side door. He's going to give you directions on a map. Flip the map over. There will be five words that form a jumble. Actually, I am pretty sure that it's just that day's jumble. Ask Lenny (don't say his name!) what the answer to the jumble is. He'll give you the answer. The answer is "He wanted to jump over it." Oh crap I shouldn't have told you that. I guess now you can skip like the first five steps. Anyways, something something, mailbox, underneath it, another clue, something happens, you get a Christmas Card.

     If you can think of any other way to get our Christmas Card that doesn't involve me actually writing down a bunch of addresses, stamping and mailing them, I'd be all for it. Just let me know!

    

Lady Music

I feel odd having this picture, as well as this
mostly-embarassing-admission on something with my name on it.

     I recently admitted to a certain fondness for The Dixie Chicks. There were roots to that fondness that I had no control over, so I could admit it more freely. It was a coping mechanism during a period of my life where I had no control. If I didn't like The Dixie Chicks I would have gone crazy. In general, I am not terribly fond of music performed by women. Not because they are women, but because my favorite genres aren't populated by many females. Carol King, Norah Jones and No Doubt all appear on my ipod, but beyond that I am a guy-and-his-guitar guy.
     Well, I've recently become pretty attached to Adele and her breakups. In fact, her albums are poised to be the first music I will purchase in like four years. (Now that I wrote that, I've stopped and thought about it. I bought a Pink Martini album about two years ago, and that is my only music purchase since my freshman year of college, methinks). I can't get enough Adele, which is surprising because I listen to the radio, where it's impossible to go 4 blocks without hearing one of her songs.
     I think my manhood can survive some classy taste in music. So I'll admit that beyond Adele I am pretty obsessed with the Wicked soundtrack. What my manhood can't survive is Glee.

     I don't love Glee. I don't even like Glee. The wife used to watch it occasionally, and sometimes they'd play a song I liked. But now that New Girl is a staple of our weekly TV watching, and since Glee is on before New Girl, I find those annoying "teenagers" and their problems on my screen more and more.
     The show is annoying.
     The music is often boring.
     This might have been the best two and a half minutes of television I've seen in years:

     The wife actually walked in to tell me something halfway through the song when it was on TV, and I shshed her and said "Wait, listen. This is really impressive." You might not find it as enjoyable as I do if you don't listen to Adele. Is this embarrassing? Probably. But I am married and no longer need to attract a mate, so I can wear transition lenses and cut my own hair and admit to embarrassing things more freely now.

     I don't honestly know where my addiction to things like Adele, Wicked and some of these YouTube clips come from. I have probably listened to the above clip over a dozen times (I treat YouTube like a jukebox so I can listen to songs that I don't actually want to buy while I do work).
     One thing that I have learned is that I don't listen to lyrics much. I can sing along with pretty much any song I have heard more than twice, but I never really think about it. So when Adele is Chasing Pavements over and over, I have no idea what that means or why she is wondering if she should keep doing it, I just sing along. It's not like the message of Adele that resonates with so many women is resonating with me. I can just claim to like good music, I suppose.

     Why am I telling you this? I don't know, why are you still reading it?

     What, you're not? Oh. I'll make sure to post some manly, look-at-what-a-badass-I-am stuff soon to regain my street cred.

Criticism

     "Can I just say, you can be a real ass."

     I haven't been the best teacher this term. I've noticed that my energy and patience are much lower than usual. I respond less frequently to emails. I am finishing my grading more slowly, and have made a lot more mistakes in grading (and while teaching) than I am comfortable with. This hasn't sat well with me, as the term has wore on, but I haven't really dealt with it either.
     The day I gave my first test in one of my classes, about three weeks ago now, I got a note from a student (which stated it was written on behalf of at least a couple of students). These students felt that I moved too quickly when teaching, and that I needed to give more time on the test I had them take. I considered their arguments (I feel that I often do move too quickly), but in that scenario there were extenuating circumstances.

     Today, however, I was approached in back-to-back classes. In my math 65 course, a student told me about how he was struggling. He was a very frank, honest and mature person. He told me he thought I was a fine teacher and that if I taught anything but math he'd be "all about" my class, but that he needs more hand-holding and coddling in math (his words). I get this from students a lot. I think all teachers of entry-level math do. Students come in with such a fear of the subject, and a history of frustration, that we are both losing the battle before class starts.
     He explained that he didn't find me approachable. That it took him a lot of nerve to talk to me after class. And that he didn't think he was the only one that felt that way. Okay.

     A couple of weeks ago, in another class, a student did very poorly on her test. She talked to me after I returned the graded tests and asked if she could retake it. I asked her why she thought she would do better the next time, and she told me she met with a tutor (after the test) and understands things better now. I told her she could re-work the test, and if she did improve I'd give her a retake. She didn't improve. I think she felt that I was being dismissive of her (which, in all honesty, at that point I was). I asked her what she was in school for, and she wants to be an elementary school teacher.
    About a week later I tried to talk with her again about her plans and her future. I was trying to get a read on the sort of help she needed, or if it was worth an investment of my time. (It's kind of hard to view someone as "worthy" of extra help, but it happens). She told me she was going to have to quit school after this term because of her baby that was coming soon.
     Well, today in her class I gave a quiz. She finished last, and as she finished she said, to no one in particular, "Math takes me a while, but I'm not stupid at math." I had made no suggestion of impatience or frustration that I was aware of, so I said "Oh yeah, I understand." She followed with "Can I just say, you can be a real ass."
     I wish I could say I was caught off guard.
     "I apologize, that's not my intention. Can you help me? I don't want to be an ass to you or anyone else, so can you tell me what I did that made you feel that way?"
     "When we had that conversation, you made me feel retarded."
     "I'm sorry, I would never try to make you feel retarded, and I don't think you are retarded. Which conversation was it? Was it the one about the test?"
     "No, the one after that."
     I assume she is referring to the one I described above, where I was trying to determine if I should be helping her more. I've run it through my mind several times, and I thought I was being understanding and genuine and showing concern. Apparently I was not coming across that way.

     In the span of about two hours, from two extremely different personalities and backgrounds, I had been told I was an unapproachable ass. Not the qualities of great teachers.

     I have been less approachable this term. I am a bit more - how do I say this - myself this term than I normally let myself be in front of the class. It's not like I am trying to be less approachable, but I am not putting forth the effort that I used to to make it clear that I am happy to help people and take any question. Like I said, I haven't been the best teacher this term. So I guess these two students have confirmed what I have been feeling for a while.
     But here's where I struggle: those tests that my students complained about? This class averages were 74% (good) and 80% (great!) - and I don't give easy tests. I have lots of students in all my classes that ask lots of questions. I crack jokes and they laugh, they crack jokes and I laugh. I am connecting with a strong majority of my students. That's a good thing. I used to work to connect with the others, and this term I am not. That's a problem.
   
     The term is now half over. Five weeks down, five to go. I am going to work at being more energetic, approachable, and not-assy. I think I can do better.

Winning The Lottery

     Cara comes home one day and asks: "Are we ever going to win the lottery?"
     I reply: "No."
     "Why not?"
     "Because we never buy lottery tickets."

     She had probably driven by the big lottery billboard on I-5 that haunts everyone that passes through Eugene. 40 million Megabucks and 200 million Powerball - I believe them's are the winnings at the moment. That's a combined fifteen zeros. I drive by the sign twice a week, typically, and always figure I might as well buy a ticket and see what happens.
     The thing is, I am an incredibly lucky person. I pretty much expect things to work out in my favor - all the time - because history has taught me that they will, regardless or the effort or skill I put forth. I am constantly winning tiny little lotteries.

     Today was another example of a little lottery I have won in life: the office mate lottery.
     I was hired at LCC (win!) at a time when their enrollment was soaring high. It still is, really, so the fact that I teach "part time" at the college doesn't really matter because there are so many classes for me to teach each term (win!). But it does mean that there is very little office space to go around. I learned that I would be sharing an office with two other people: a husband and wife named Don and Inga Cataldo.
     They are the best office mates in the United States of America.
     I walked in and they immediately started clearing space for me and offered me the computer in the office. Forever. They bring their laptops and don't need it. We're off to a good start. Inga is from Ukraine. She and Don got married ten years ago when she came to the states. She has a daughter my age back home. As soon as I walked in the door on that first day, she asks me my age and I told her 25. She says "That's my daughter's age." She asks me some questions about myself. After knowing me for perhaps 12 minutes she declares "You are like son to me." She will bring me food to the office and any errand she runs for her husband (which is pretty much every chore in the office: getting copies, picking up mail, heating up lunch) she will offer to do for me.
     This fall we had a math-department meeting before the term began. We went around and said our names and something about ourselves. In typical Russian-accent-cadence, Inga says "Hello I am Inga I am married to Don and share office with Grant. He is super-handsome." She then sits down.
   
     A week ago the three of us are in our office. It's a crowded little room, and each of us face a different wall. I was getting up to leave for class and said "Oh, um, would you guys like to have dinner with Cara and Wyatt and I sometime soon?" Inga bolted in her chair and looked at Don and I in flash as soon as the "din" in "dinner" was uttered. She says "Uhh, yes. Saturday. You have baby, so you bring baby and I'll make dinner at our house. What do you like?" I said "Everything." She excitedly goes about her work again and I head out the door. She calls out to me "Don't eat anything between now and then!"
     We had dinner with them tonight. Just a few hours ago. I cannot describe the feast she threw our way. It was absurdly delicious. It was incredibly huge. She made enough food for a dozen people, when only four of us were eating people food. She made three desserts, just to make sure she found one we liked.

     These are the leftovers she sent home with us, to give you some idea.

The box of scones at the top-left she bought off a
fundraiser but didn't want, so she gave them to me. Jackpot.

     Again, I'd like to stress the word leftover, as that easily makes an entire meal. There was at least four times as much food at dinner, and lots of dishes that weren't sent home. She actually forgot to bring out an entire dish, but was okay with that because she felt it was too dry anyways.
     I was cleaning the table at the end of the night and she says "We always have leftovers. I won't eat leftovers and I won't give them to Don. We have no dog so I just throw it away." I said "Inga you can feel free to treat me like your dog," and she lit up and said from now on she will bring leftovers to the office.

     All of this post has been about Inga, but Don is wonderful too. He and I spend a lot of time in the office together. We talk politics or sports or news or, best of all, nothing at all. He is in the office a lot because he and Inga work pretty separate hours, so one is usually waiting around for the other. So he'll play freecell on his Ipad or take a nap. It's very relieving to have an office mate who is comfortable taking a nap with you around, as I feel like I can do the same.

     I should probably play the lottery, because I bet I'd win it. I would pit my luck against anyone else's and probably come out looking good. I am thankful for this and hope that it never changes. For what it's worth, I truly believe that I have such wonderful fortune because I obey God and His commandments, but if you would like to explain it a different way that's fine.
     I am going to go fulfill my role as Inga's son/dog and go eat that leftover fish.

Seeing God in Your Experiences

     I once heard that people see God in a way that fits with their own experience. Specifically, artists see God as the "great artist in the sky," and architects see Him as "the great builder in the sky." If your job doesn't lend itself to that (i.e., He's not the great data enterer in the sky), then whatever you find important, or find meaning in, is where you might see Him. The great gardener, or great parent, or great grand-parent (ha!). You get the idea.
     This notion has stuck with me since then, probably because I found it to be true for me. I of course see God as "The Great Mathematician in the Sky." The difference between my view of Him and yours is that I think mine is more accurate.
     There are three traits associated with God at His most fundamental levels. He is omnipotent (all powerful), omniscient (all knowing) and omnipresent (all everywhere). Guess what! Mathematics pretty much contains all of those all-everything qualities as well!
     It's hard for me to convince someone that math is all powerful, because in and of itself it has no real power, but mathematics is both what governs all of our physical world and the primary tool that allows us to learn and discover anything and everything about existence. Since it applies to most everything, I call that darn-near omnipotent.
     The rules and logic of mathematics are quite literally inescapable. Wherever you go, 1 + 1 = 2, and whatever time period you are in you can solve an equation for x. This makes mathematics omnipresent.
     All knowing is a bit of a stretch, but I think it is still sensible. In terms of the hard sciences, everything that we think we discover, or have agreed upon to be a scientific truth must first be verified through mathematics. If the math isn't there, than the theory isn't either. The issue with this, and with all the sciences in my opinion, is that we are always learning more and more. We don't know if what we know now is the whole story or just a part of it. So I submit that mathematics are all knowing, we just don't know all mathematics.

     Calculus is tough to sum up as one main idea. If I had to, I would say it is the study of calculating the infinite. Finding the sums and products of numbers as they get infinitely big or infinitely small. I'd like to explain this real briefly, but to insert equations and fractions I have to use a diferent program, so the text size and style will change slightly, which I know is jarring. Please bear with me.

     The idea being, I can't actually calculate two-to-the-infinity. In fact, I can't even calculate two-to-the-really-really-big number (even 2^100 is absurdly huge). But since I can look at the smaller numbers, I can use those smaller numbers and the trends that I see appearing to know that if I could add up every possible term from one to infinity, they would add up to 1. I think that's cool.
     I can't truly comprehend infinity. If I could, it wouldn't really be infinite, now would it. I don't think there is a better word to describe God than the word infinite. This means that I can't truly comprehend God. If I could, He wouldn't really be God, now would He.
     But! When I started to wrap my ahead around this calculus idea - that I could determine what happens as things get infinitely big or infinitely small, I suddenly started to realize that I could understand God in a similar fashion. I can't understand the infinite depth of His power, presence or knowledge, but what I see in little pieces can give me a clue as to the larger trends. This might not be a radical idea (in fact I think it's really the only option), but the fact that I was able to do it with math excited me.
     I began to really dive into my studies. In college I did three things: play super smash brothers, play ultimate, and study math. I felt like the more I learned about math the more I was learning about God. I still do, and I eat it up every chance I get.

     Well, enter some random guy who informs me that everyone sees God in a fashion that fits their experiences. The great whatever in the sky. It turns out what I was doing with mathematics, everyone can do with everything. I'd felt that by learning more about math I was learning more about God because I felt like mathematics had some special insight into God's character. It turns out that everything points to God. The more we learn about science and humanity and art and nature and batman, the more we are learning about God.
     (I still do feel that math has special insight into who God is - more so that most other disciplines - because I think if God is bound by anything it is logic. I was once asked at a Bible study if there was anything God couldn't do. My reply was "Of course there is. He can't do anything that isn't logically consistent. Meaning, He can't simultaneously do something and not do that same thing." I think logic (and by extension mathematics) is an integral part of His character. I know there are smarter people than me that have thought about this, and I think the idea relates to His nature and His administration, but I don't know.)
   
     So whatever you are doing, if you do it to your fullest, you are glorifying God. I find that relieving.

Found This Little Gem Today

While looking through my facebook timeline (yeah, I do that, so what?!), I came across this conversation I had with my brother, 5 years ago.

The scene: He's 16 living at home, I am 21 in college at my awful, crappy college house. This house had 7 people, 5 rooms, two showers, one toilet. It was a lot of fun but it was disgusting, in retrospect.

From facebook:

A conversation I had with my 16-year old brother online:

Him: Hey, do you guys need any toilet paper?

Me: Yeah, I guess so

Him: Okay
My car got tp'ed last night

Me: Oh, well, are we getting rolls?

Him: I think there is one roll

Me: Well we don't need just a big wad of toilet paper

Him: Yeah, it's a big wad
But, its 3-ply soft...
...
...
...
...
...
Me: Okay, yeah, bring it over and we'll check it out

Cereal Review: Frosted Toast Crunch

     The cereal aisle is not what it once was. Where there used to be dozens of brightly colored boxes vying for my attention like peacocks, there are now only several different types of the same brand. Sugar is being replaced by more grains and fruit. Taste is being sacrificed for perceived health.
     Let's not kid ourselves though: breakfast cereal is not healthy. Cheerios and Raisin Bran aren't not healthy, but they have to advertise as being "part of this nutritious breakfast" with fruit, orange juice, wheat grass, dietary supplements and an a PX-90 video for a reason. So if I am going to have cereal, I want it to taste good. Otherwise, if I wanted to be healthy, I wouldn't eat anything at all ever, it seems.

     Let's categorize and rank the best cereals before I tell you how utterly forgettable Frosted Toast Crunch is. In my mind the hierarchy is as such:

Oh man, can't you just feel the 90's all over this thing?

     The Legendary Limited Time Only Cereals: Disclaimer: all of these cereals might actually not be any good. But I had them so long ago, and never since, that they have stuck with me. I'd trade stock in Google for a bowl of Cinna-Crunch Pebbles, a Flintstones-themed combination of Cinnamon Toast Crunch (CTC) and Fruity Pebbles. I still long for French Toast Crunch, the syrupy version of CTC where the cereal was in the shape of little pieces of toast. French Toast Crunch came out every spring break-ish when I was in highschool, and it marked my holiday every time. Finally, Waffle Crisp may actually be my favorite cereal ever, I just don't know for sure because I can't find it anywhere even though the internet tells me it's still out there.

     The Cinnamon Toast Crunch Level: Yes, Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the greatest achievement in the history of mankind. There, that's settled. However, its immortal status at the top of every day cereals has lead to aspiring young champions as well, specifically Cinnamon Life. (If you are noticing a certain theme, well, then you're not an idiot I guess.) Special K with Red Berries and Waffle Crisp (if it does in fact still exist) have reached these heights as well.

     Foundational Cereals: These are the cereals that are fine on their own, but you would never eat them plain. Fruit, sugar, cinnamon, honey, other cereals and tabasco can all be mixed in to form a new taste sensation every morning. We're looking at Special K at the top, but Rice Krispies, Corn Flakes (discontinued but it should be) Cheerios and - if you're feeling adventurous - Life all fit the bill.

     Second-Tier Delicious Cereals: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Trix, Lucky Charms, Capn Crunch (peanut butter over berries), Fruit Loops. Each of those cereals has its own quirk. I think a bowl of Trix smells like a gas station when I open it up. I love it. Whereas Fruit Loops reminds me of a construction site, don't ask me why. Both Trix and Capn Crunch will shred the roof of your mouth if you aren't careful.  RPBC is delicious, but not eat-it-every-day-every-meal delicious like CTC.

     Third Tier Delicious Cereals: AKA The Tasty Air Group: Honeycomb, Pops. I'll throw Golden Grahams in here because it needs to be mentioned.
 
          So now, the reason you are here, I assume. Frosted Toast Crunch recently hit store shelves, and the verdict isn't pretty.